Chewing gum short novel 

Particles of my body mix up with the last chewing gum I have recovered from the bottom of the pocket while I think that maybe we could have casual sex as if we were teenager neighbours and later on after years we could look at each other and say we could get married.

Particles of my chewing gum are defeating me but not so much if I get into a self vanishing mode that wants to melt with what is around me being not afraid of losing consistency but eager to experiment other ones. Such as having quick and lavish sex with my neighbour.

Marriage is a word that suggests many semiotisations. Proposing marriage as someone who chews up a chewing gum and is not afraid of losing consistency seems fine. A testing of sense, taste, tender, tonus, intensity, resistance and sweat also do come with.

Neighbour? Is a chance location. Or location by chance. For if being your neighbour I could have had the chance of teasing you since much earlier in life. Luckily another type of territory brought us together. Drawing from this sort of particles and consistencies to drive around between bodies spaces desire libido encounter and adults semiotisations, such as marriage, better saying, tasting it all from the disposability of a chewing gum must, still, be fine.

(End of the novel.)

Redwood

Becoming dog of love

Becoming rabbit of sex

Becoming fox

Becoming lizard (licking licking)

Becoming monkey (screaming screaming!)

Becoming cat closing eyes

The becoming cat warm in each other

The becoming sensitive to your touch

The becoming jelly down in the

Vagina becoming pussy

Becoming water

Becoming lake of

The dog

The rabbit

The fox

The cat

The wolf

Wolf appeared (in a becoming redwood)

(Red hood can be you)

After the Loner’s forest

And the becoming wild of two dogs it sees coming up a Bear with a broken paw

Somebody says

– Heart, woof-woof!

The Bear (female) insists:

– Paw, woof.

Dogs becoming two under the red hood

Neighboring a confusing line, a smoky lake

Opaque water

Forest around

Whatever arises – arouses – are trees

Whatever spreads, spreads

Why not to become, a red lake

A red kite

And after a flight

Alight by a branch

Look around, spy Wolves Bears Rabbits Foxes

Some wild

Some becoming.

Adults traps

While our children sleep we set traps. Adults traps. Adults fall in love, get lost in plans, hassle, plan trips, come, laugh, are drunk. Adults swap gender, do make up, have their bodies naked, make themselves either big or small, sneak into each other, suffer and desire, piously. Adults dream that enter each others bodies, and do enter each other bodies. Adults dream in politics, and dream about a passage from one plane to another, as it would be more feaseble, that the military will fall, so they plan attacks, guns, black flags. Between boleros and dramas, bad beer and unfinished analysis, they scratch their bodies in the streets, in the dirty walls, they smoke what burns them inside out.
When our children are asleep, we fly away, and we run over each other, we fight. When our children wake up, they wake up our dry eyes, and a new journey starts. In the fresh morning the revolution of truth, libidinal from another era. In front of the nostalgic eyes of those dreams and comings, in front of the demolished bodies from the previous night, small bodies, subtle, and light. Filled up with plans. And we turn to them – absolutely – gigantic bodies in the morning. New trials and new tests to what ails us. Subtle and light bodies that ask for care, smaller than ours, they proof us that, maybe, we will fail. They bring challenges from another scale. Hangover in the adults eyes, attentive, however, to the marvellous dimension, fantasious, energetic of our children. Our eyes carry some sort of fear, fed by a small-big impression that we wont be able to hold the topsy-turvy dimension of our children’s semioticisations. Small child, its like: inventive present. In the body of the adult, on the other hand, a little bit of death, floating alcohol, unfinished lush, questions of order, greed for a longer night.
We wake up in another plane.

Attack plans from the previous night falter. The world of the adults traps gets lost in the porosity of the morning. Veridical and sweet eyes, usurpating. Usurpating the passage and the crossing plans, delaying for the next night that world of dramas, delirium, erroneous slut, a world of passions. Adults traps. We run over each other more and more seriously than in children’s battles. Of course. We are night gladiators. We have desiring bodies. But the other ones, the small morning gladiators, they put us in retaguard. Small bodies, not less transformative.
When our children wake up we are surrended. We leave behind the bed with its lakes and lascivious marks, we get out to the wilderness of the house, we cross by real obstacles, material, colourful, stockable, talkative, breakable, threatening. The direction of the adults passions is drained by the touch and the sight, for when our children wake up we realise we have gone far, to a world of fears, our smallness, and, in front of us we have an excess of tender, warmth, risk and pure passage.

When our children wake up we burn with longing, longing for the traps we have arranged, as if it would be easy to get rid of them, as if the night betrayals where fair play, as if we would be more equal in these battles, those that when we lose, we strieve even more. Adults create traps as a drift, they play with themselves, they get drunk in their gozos, they relief from pure room of something bigger.
Adults wake up in scorched land (and scorched themselves). But no, its another plane. Consistency by caress, consistency by breaking that sovereignity.

Adulticities. Adults traps get lost in the morning. Small bodies defeat and lead the retaguard. Surrended, adults bodies abandon their projects, and their traps. Navigated by silky affects, the small (gladiators, liders, revolutionaries…) are soliciting us in such a soft way. Even so they call us, they convoke us. They don’t know about our death-alive bodies, the chilly shivering, the sufferings with politics, the crossings of affect. They don’t know we wake up all of a sudden, and from delirium.
They look at our eyes, steady:
– Are we ready, are we?
– Or are we still trapped?

*

Read this text in portuguese [here]

Trampas de adultos

Enquanto nossas crianças dormem se armam trampas. Trampas de adultos. Adultos se enamoram, se perdem em planos, criam lios, e planejam viagens, gozam, riem, estão bêbados. Adultos trocam de gênero, maquiagens, corpos nus, se fazem grandes e pequenos, se inmiscuem uns nos outros, sofrem e desejam, piamente, mais do que podem. Sonham que entram e entram um no corpo do outro. E sonham políticas, e sonham que a passagem dum plano a outro é mais possível, que os militares cairão, e planejam ataques, armas, bandeiras negras. Entre boleros e dramas, cervejas ruins e análises inacabadas ralam os corpos nas ruas, paredes sujas, e fumam o que lhes queima.

Enquanto nossas crianças dormem voamos longe, fazemos atropelos, brigamos. Quando nossas crianças despertam, acordam nossos olhos secos, e começa uma jornada. Na manhã fresca a revolução da verdade, libidinal de outra era. Diante dos olhos nostálgicos daqueles sonhos e gozos, diante do corpo demolido da noite anterior, pequenos corpos, sutis, e leves. Cheios de planos. E nos tornamos para eles –  absolutamente – agigantados na manhã. Vem aí outras provas para as trampas que nos afligiam. Corpos sutis e leves que pedem cuidado, mais pequenos que os nossos, e nos provam, talvez, menos capazes para nossos planos. Os desafios que trazem são doutra escala. Nosso olhar de ressacas é atento, contudo, à sua dimensão maravilhosa, fantasiosa, energética. Nosso olhar carrega um pouco de temor, alimentado pela pequena-grande impressão de que não daremos conta da dimensão escalonada, às avessas, das semióticas infantis. Criança pequena, igual a: presente inventivo. No corpo do adulto, por outro lado, um pouco de morte, álcool flotando, questões de ordem, gozo que não cessa, ganância de uma noite mais longa.

Acordamos num outro plano.

Titubeiam os planos de ataque da noite anterior. O mundo das trampas adultas se perde na porosidade da manhã. Olhos verídicos e doces, a usurpar. Usurpar os planos de passagem, de travessia, a fazer tardar para a noite seguinte aquele mundo de dramas, de delírios, de errôneas sacanagens, aquele mundo de paixões. Trampas de adultos. Se atropelam muito mais e pior que nas batalhas infantis. Claro. Gladiadores da noite. Corpos de desejo. Mas os outros, gladiadores pequenos das manhãs, fazem de nós pura retaguarda. Corpos pequenos, não menos de transformação.

Quando nossas crianças acordam estamos rendidos. Deixando a cama dos lagos e gozos, saímos na selvageria da casa, atravessando obstáculos reais, materiais, coloridos, montáveis, falantes, quebráveis, ameaçadores. O rumo das paixões adultas é dragado no toque e no olhar. É que quando nossos filhos despertam nos damos conta de que viajamos longe, a um mundo de gozos e medos, nosso apequenamento, e temos agora, diante de nós ternura e calidez de sobra, risco e pura passagem.

Quando nossas crianças despertam ardemos de saudades das trampas que arrumamos, como se delas fosse mais fácil desvelar-se, como se as traições noturnas fossem o jogo limpo, aquele em que estamos em pé de igualdade, aqueles em que batalhas não vencidas acendem mais luta. Adultos criam trampas como desvio, brincam consigo mesmos, embebedam-se de seus gozos, aliviam-se por puro ensejo de coisa maior.

Acordam em terra arrasada (arrasados em si). Mas não, é outro plano. Consistência por carícia, consistência por quebra daquela aparente soberania. Adultices. Trampas de adultos se perdem na manhã. Corpos pequenos desafiam e lideram a retaguarda. Rendidos, corpos de adultos abandonam os projetos e as trampas. Navegam por afeto sedoso, pois os pequenos (gladiadores, líderes, revolucionários) nos solicitam da maneira mais suave. Ainda assim nos convocam. Eles não sabem dos nossos corpos meio morto-vivos, de gélidos arrepios, dos sofrimentos da política, dos atravessamentos do afeto. Não sabem que acordamos de súbito, e de delírio.

Nos olham, a postos:
–  Estamos prontos, estamos?
–  Ou ainda estamos atrapados?

*

Versão em inglês [aqui]